#canon 2 me btw :3
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Christmas Special 🖤🤍
[A/N]: idk if i’ll be online tmrw so here we are!! this is a lil intense but still cutie! :3 ( @sh1mmer-add1ct )
TW: gore, body horror, (mutual) cannibalistic behavior, and suggestive!
One night couldn’t hurt. Lucian kept telling himself this over and over again as he looked over the bottle, feeling nauseated from how comfortable the neck felt in the palm of his hand. There was a time not so long ago where he had one of these every night just to feel better — a time where he was addicted to it.
But one night couldn’t hurt.
“Luuu, come on. Show me.”
Lucian laughed softly and leaned back on the couch, his eyes unmoved from the bottle. Beside him sat his boyfriend, eager to try it out for the first time with his own closed bottle in his hands.
Inching closer and closer to him, Kai evidently yearned for his attention. Lucian snapped out of his daze with a smile.
“Honey, you don’t even have it open yet…”
“I dunno how to open it,” Kai whined, putting the lid to his teeth.
Lucian hurriedly snatched it away. “No, no. You’ll hurt yourself that way, silly. Here, lemme see.”
Kai released it from his grip and in mere seconds, the bottle was opened. Again, Lucian’s natural talent shined through. His old habits were making a comeback. It didn’t make him feel too hot at first, but seeing Kai’s amazed expression, he realized it wasn’t all too bad. He returned it to him and tucked both his legs up onto the couch, scooting closer to him for the initial first sip.
“Okay, ready?”
“Ready.”
“Okaaay. Cheers!” Lucian hummed, clinking his bottle against Kai’s. With a puzzled look, Kai returned the motion with a giggle. Then, they both put it to their lips and took their first step toward intoxication.
It tasted just as good as he remembered it. The stinging sensation didn’t feel like much as it went down and the bitter flavor almost tasted sweet as it danced on his tongue. One sip turned into two, turned into four as he remembered just how wonderful the feeling was, smiling to himself from the distant memories playing in his head. Kai, on the other hand, practically spat it out.
“Aw, baby…” Lucian set down his bottle on the table as he gently hit Kai’s back, helping him with the coughing fit he endured. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you not to take such a big gulp at first.”
“It’s gross!” Kai whined as he hit his chest repeatedly, trying to recover from the burning sensation in his ribcage and throat. “How can you like something like that?!”
Lucian laughed a little. “You learn to love it. I had the same reaction when I first started, too. Here, why don’t you take a break for now, okay?” He grabbed the bottle from Kai’s hands and set it down beside his own, redirecting his attention onto him again.
Pulling his hands into his lap, Lucian laced their fingers together and kissed his nose, blinking slowly to take in as much of his beauty as he could. Kai never looked better. Every facial feature he had was near perfection. Lucian believed him to be perfect. From his gorgeous eyes, to his pretty teeth, to his fluffy hair, to all the freckles dusted on his cheeks, he thought Kai looked like an angel.
His thoughts were a little loud. During his time of admiration, Kai’s face lit up with a light shade of pink, looking off to avoid his gaze. Lucian could only smile wider from the scene.
“Lulu…”
“Yeah?”
“Am I gonna be drunk now?”
It was a cute comment. Most of the words that came from his mouth were. With a grin, Lucian shrugged and proceeded to tease him. “Maybe. What, are you scared of getting drunk?”
Pulling away from their interlocked hands to bite at his nails, Kai finally gained the courage to look him in the eyes again. “Kinda. When you get drunk, you either get really mad or really horny, right?”
Lucian cocked his eyebrows up from the mere suggestion. “Where’d you hear that from? Well…I guess that’s true for some people.”
“How about you? What happens when you get drunk? Do you get real mad?”
“The opposite, actually. It feels like I’m floating. Like…there’s butterflies in my stomach and everything’s going real slow. It’s calming.”
“Really?”
“Mhm! But it really just depends on the person.”
“When my parents drank, they got angrier and sadder than they were before. Have you ever felt like that?”
Lucian swallowed hard and made an expression that could only be described as pitiful. “Sometimes, yeah. I guess it just heightens the mood you have before you drink. I dunno. We don’t have to drink anymore if it’s reminding you of that…”
“No.” Kai raised his voice, grabbing his shoulders and gently shaking him around to prove his seriousness. “No, I wanna drink. Come on, let’s drink more.”
There was no denying that tone.
It didn’t take long before Lucian’s bottle emptied out. Kai hardly touched his, still struggling with the taste, but offered to go grab Lucian another. Before he could resist it too much, there was another bottle in his hands, cracked open and ready for consumption. If his old self was in the same situation, he wouldn’t have thought twice about drinking it all up. However, looking at it with a sense of solemnity growing in his chest, Lucian couldn’t help but feel as though he was falling back too much. He swore off drinking whenever he began dating Kai. And to be drinking alongside him felt wrong, like he had ruined what he promised to maintain.
“You okay?”
Lucian wiped the sweat from off his forehead, averting his eyes from the bottle and to his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.”
Kai looked at him for a long while with an unwavered expression. Lucian sighed.
“I dunno if I wanna drink this.”
Visibly concerned, Kai inched closer. “Why not? Is something wrong with it?”
“No, no, I just…I don’t want to freak you out if I start acting weird.”
He tilted his head upon hearing Lucian’s explanation with a soft smile. “You’re not gonna freak me out, silly. Like you said, you just get all calm and happy!”
Kai took another sip of his drink, maintaining their eye contact. Lucian watched him intently, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. And although no words were exchanged between the two, they understood each other’s perspectives on the matter instantaneously. By the assuring expression Kai wore and the defeated smile Lucian gave him, they continued to drink together.
The second bottle hit harder. At first, Lucian figured it was because he hadn’t drank in a while and thus his body was readjusting to the intake again, but upon five minutes of it settling down, he knew something was wrong. Kai played with the rim of his bottle as they sat and watched cartoons together, leaning his head onto his tense shoulder. Lucian’s heart raced within his chest while thinking of what to do or say.
“Kai…”
“Mhm?”
“Did you…”
Upon hearing his tone, Kai sat up with a concerned look on his face. “What? Is something wrong, Bunny?”
“I dunno,” Lucian muttered. His eyes grew wider as he sat up, setting the empty bottle down. His limbs felt heavier than usual, his hands beginning to visibly shake. “It’s just way stronger than I remember it being. I made sure this wasn’t the strong stuff…”
Kai caressed his face, redirecting Lucian’s eyes back into his own. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.”
Those words were all too familiar. Typically when Kai did something that upset Lucian, even just a little bit, he’d beg him not to cry. And with that warm smile and those eager eyes, Lucian was able to read him like a book – he knew something. Guilt was written all over his pretty face.
“Kai…did you do something to the drinks?”
“No,” Kai hummed in an almost childlike manner, moving indefinitely closer to his flushed face. “Only yours.”
Upon hearing this, Lucian’s eyes grew wide. “What do you mean?”
With a pretty laugh, Kai swung his head back and embraced him tightly without a care in the world. Lucian, on the other hand, had to focus on managing and evening out his breaths.
“I like it when your heart goes like thaaat…” Kai purred, placing his hand against his pec with a giggle. “Don’t worry, Lu. I’ll take good care of you, okay? I always do.”
“I-I know, but…”
“But what?”
“I’m a little scared,” Lucian admitted, trying to convey his emotions without Kai freaking out. His face was pale. “What did you spike it with, Kai? Please tell me…”
“Relax, Bunny. I promise it’s nothing bad. It’s just gonna make you sleepy.”
“O-Okay, so like, a sedative?”
Putting his finger on his chin, Kai pondered the idea with a sly grin. “Is that what it’s called? Yeah, I think so.”
“Where did you get a sedative from, honey?” Lucian asked in a low tone, trying his hardest to keep his composure. Both of his hands met either one of Kai’s shoulders, gripping them tightly as he stared deep into his eyes.
The once sly smile dropped from Kai’s face in seconds once he heard that tone. He bit at one of his nails and avoided eye contact, clearly becoming uncomfortable with his stern gaze.
“Are you mad at me?”
“Kai, I…no, I’m not mad, Kitty…”
Their eyes met. Even with his heart racing, Lucian accepted the affection anyway as Kai pulled him into a kiss. It felt just as nice as it always did. Kai was gentle with him, allowing his fingertips to graze against his back as he held him close. Telling by the way their chests were pressed against each other, Lucian understood that Kai was nervous, too — his heartbeat was just as rapid as his was. Then again, he might've just been excited. It was hard to tell.
Kai’s lips moved to his throat as they usually did, grabbing at his shirt’s neck to lower it and present his collarbones. Lucian hummed a little before softly pushing him off, clearly not in the mood. That only made Kai more frantic.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Kai. Seriously, it’s okay…”
“You’re mad at me.”
“No, I—!”
“I didn’t mean for you to be upset. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me anymore, okay? Please?”
With a deep breath, Lucian nodded. He felt himself starting to become more woozy as time moved forward. “Okay. I’m not upset. How about you? Are you upset?”
Kai nodded. Lucian caressed his face with his knuckles, trying to console him the best he could without understanding what was going through his mind. Kai’s breathing steadied out instantaneously.
“I really didn’t mean to make you nervous, Lu. I promise I didn’t. It’s just…it’s Christmas and I have one last present and you have to be asleep for a while so I can get it without you seeing, so I thought I could just…I dunno. I’m stupid. I’m sorry…”
It took Lucian a second to process everything he said since his words went a million miles per hour. But once he came to comprehend the whole story, he couldn’t help but laugh that same old laugh Kai fell in love with all those years ago. Blushing heavily, Kai anxiously played with the rings on his fingers to cool off.
“Oh, baby…”
“I’m sorry, Lu. Please don’t be upset.” Kai leaned close to his face with that same worried expression as he wore before.
Lucian stroked his hair back and kissed his forehead, giggling quietly. “I’m not upset at all, cutie.”
“You’re…not?”
Lowering the neck of his shirt again, Lucian presented him with his favorite place to plant his kisses. “Of course not. C’mere…”
Kai tilted his head, evidently debating on whether or not he wanted to believe Lucian’s words. It wasn’t that he was untrustworthy, but he couldn’t tell if the sedative and booze were at play. Lucian giggled a little and pulled him in by his shirt, falling to the couch cushions and letting him sit on his hips.
Kai waved his hand across his face to check his consciousness. Lucian blinked slowly and laughed again.
“I’m awake, silly. I just wanna have some fun before I go to sleep.”
“Are you feeling okay though?”
“Nope, I’m three seconds away from death. I…love…you…”
“Wh-What?!”
“Haha! I’m just messing with you, pretty kitty.”
“Luuu…” Kai whined, tracing his fingertips down his chest with a pout. Once his hands met the end of his shirt, however, that cheeky smile made a return. “Whatever, Lulu-bun.”
“Eww, don’t call me thaaat!” Lucian laughed, shoving him playfully. “Bunny’s fine! Just call me Bunny!”
Kai knew how much he hated sappy nicknames. That’s what made it a hundred times better. “How about…hunny bunny?”
“No!”
“Hm…how abouttt…”
Lucian looked away for a moment, slightly blushing with a stupid grin. “You’re my kitty and I’m your bunny. Leave it at that, silly.”
“Okay, but you call me pretty kitty, sooo…”
“Oh, that’s what this is about, huh?” Lucian purred, moving his thumbs up and down against Kai’s hips. “You can’t one-up pretty kitty. It fits you perfectly. You’re pretty and you look just like a cute, sweet, little teenie-weenie kitty cat. Come onnn, who’s my pretty kitty? Hmm?”
Teasing him, Lucian raised his hand to scratch under his chin like a loving pet owner. Kai grabbed his hand and held it against his lips, kissing his knuckles with a dreamy glint in his eyes.
“I am.”
Lucian’s breaths sharpened as Kai pulled his arm further back, lifting him off the cushions a little for their lips to meet. Upon the initial touch, Lucian immediately relaxed into his grasp, sinking his fingers into his hair to pull him in more. Rather than pulling away after a few hot seconds like he usually did, Lucian noticed Kai’s kisses were still coming just as passionately as the last. It was cute. Typically Lucian was the one who had more stamina, but with the drugs in his system, he struggled to keep up. Apparently Kai thought it was funny as he giggled into their heaving breaths and pulled away.
“Need a minute?”
“Yeah…I think it’s starting to kick in…” Lucian whispered, sinking deeper into the cushions with a deep sigh. “You got some pretty strong stuff, huh?”
Kai bit at his nails again, still inches from Lucian’s face. “Your eyes are big.”
“Yeah?”
“Like…the black part.”
Blinking slowly, all Lucian could do was laugh it off. He could sense Kai becoming nervous, which made him subsequently nervous too, but he tried his best to hide it. He trusted Kai’s judgement on the sedative he used. After all, he’d never do anything to hurt him.
“My pupils might be dilating. Sometimes that happens with sedatives…” Rubbing Kai’s lower back to soothe him, Lucian smiled softly. “It’s probably because you’re right here, too. Your pupils get bigger when you see someone you love.”
“Really?”
“Mhmmm.”
In the blink of an eye, Kai was inches away from his face again — only this time, he was taking in every detail of Lucian’s eyes. Every shade, every shape, every color, Kai memorized within seconds. Feeling his warm breath against his supple skin, Lucian couldn’t help but blush and allow his eyes to become lost within Kai’s.
“You must really love me right now.”
His face grew blurrier and his voice became softer as Lucian slowly slipped away. “You know I do.”
Kai giggled and, again, kissed him. It was impossible to keep them off each other for more than a minute tops. And even in his deteriorating mental state, Lucian thought his neediness was adorable. Constant affection, constant attention, constant devotion — they were, to put it lightly, equally as obsessed as the other. Maybe in different thought processes and ways, but the infatuation they shared was unmatched.
Rather than rocking on his hips in a desperate attempt to get closer, Kai resorted to laying side-by-side with him and tangling their legs together instead. One of Kai’s favorite parts about Lucian was how loving and tender his embraces were. And one of Lucian’s favorite parts about Kai was how eager he was to be held.
Kai’s hands rode underneath Lucian’s shirt. He didn’t mind it.
“Did you…did you have fun today?”
The question somehow threw Kai off from his initial intentions, to pamper him with affection and kisses and love bites all over, and had him stammering over his words instead. “Y-Yeah. You always get me the best presents, Lu…I, uh, I really liked it when we were playing outside together. The snow is always fun…and, um…yeah! I loved all your presents a whole lot!”
“Yeah? Well…I thought all of your presents to me were the best…I really liked them all.”
“Really?
“Mhm…”
Kai glanced away for a moment, smiling to himself almost bashfully. “I’m happy.”
Lucian’s hand met the side of Kai’s face as he inched closer, caressing his cheekbone with the tip of his thumb. “I’m happy too, cutie. The happiest guy in the world.”
That same feeling sparked into his stomach.
“I wanna eat you alive,” Kai whispered.
His tone was so low and gentle as it reverberated in his eardrums that it caused Lucian to shudder a little. “Yeah?”
“Mhm. I wanna rip you open and taste every part of you, all of it, everything. Because you’re mine. You’re mine and only mine. Nobody else can ever have you or touch you or feel you or taste you like I can. I’m the only one who can ever do it, okay?”
Lucian stared at him blankly. Confused at this reaction, Kai tilted his head. Lucian was typically a mess when it came down to his “dirty talk.” (Kai hated it whenever he teased and called it that, but that’s what it essentially was between the two of them.) Rather than blushing or gushing or practically begging for it, Lucian’s warm gaze never faltered from Kai’s face.
“…Lu?”
“Huh? What did you say? I’m sorry, baby. I’m kinda dizzy…”
With a pitiful expression, Kai stroked the hair from his face with his fingertips. Lucian’s eyelids fluttered shut almost instantly upon feeling his gentle touch, leaning his right cheek into the palm of his hand.
“…I love you, Lucian. I promise to be a good boy for you, okay?”
By the time those words left his mouth, Lucian was already fast asleep inside his arms.
/—/—/—/—/—/—/—\—\—\—\—\—\—\
“Lucian, will you marry me?”
Standing under the huge willow tree in their backyard, Lucian turned to see Kai on one knee presenting a tiny box in his hand. Inside was the prettiest ring known to mankind.
“Yes! Yes, oh my God, yes!” Lucian squealed, practically vibrating in excitement.
Suddenly, everyone Lucian knew surrounded them, clapping and cheering for the newly announced fiancés. Lucian scanned the audience once or twice before reaching to help Kai up, smiling like an idiot.
“We’re getting married now,” Kai said.
“Okay!” Lucian bubbled.
“Then we’re gonna go on our honeymoon to the beach. It’s gonna be so romantic. I’ll even protect you from all the fish in the water, we’re gonna have them removed and everything by the government and fire firefighters.”
“Okay!”
“You’re so cool, Lucian. You’re the coolest guy ever,” Kai purred while batting his eyelashes cutely. His face somehow looked even prettier than before. “I wanna marry you so bad, please marry me now.”
“Okay!”
“I promise to be a good boy for you, okay?”
Those words took a moment to register before Lucian understood why they felt so familiar.
His eyelids fluttered as his consciousness slowly became grounded back into reality, his heart still racing from the initial question Kai popped onto him — he wished that part would’ve been real.
Running his hands along the mattress, Lucian let out a soft moan while struggling to keep his eyes open. He allowed himself to collapse into the warm embrace of his pillows and blankets for a moment before letting out a sigh and forcing himself to stretch out in order to wake up some more. Only then did he realize that he was in their bed rather than the living room couch.
“Kai must’ve carried me…” he thought to himself with a silly smile spreading across his face. “Cutie. I’m surprised I didn’t wake up. I must’ve been wasted…”
Stretching his arms high above his head and yawning, Lucian prepared himself to sit up and take on another day. However, before he could muster up enough energy, he looked side to side for Kai’s presence. Unsurprisingly, he was nowhere to be seen.
“Hopefully he got some sleep last night…” Lucian’s eyebrows furrowed from the thought of his boyfriend pulling yet another all-nighter despite his scolding. “Probably not. He’s always avoiding it.”
Then, he finally sat up. His body was still reasonably groggy from the alcohol, but more importantly, the sedatives from last night. Upon recalling that conversation from last night, Lucian rubbed his temples and sighed again.
“I can’t even remember what happened. Hopefully I didn’t do anything weird. God, that would be so embarr—!”
Blood. Lucian’s hands trembled ever so slightly as his eyes comprehended the crimson red stains all over his shirt. He ripped the covers off to see that the blood had sunk into some of the sheets and blankets, presumably from the same source.
“Kai…?” His voice cracked with emotion and a mixture of grogginess as he stepped out of bed, trying to keep calm. “Kai, baby, come here!”
No answer. Lucian patted himself down and checked out the rest of his body, feeling out how much blood there really was. To his dismay, he found more on his boxers and thighs. It appeared that blood was from the huge splash across his shirt, but he couldn’t be sure.
Rubbing his hands down the damp fabric of the shirt, a bolt of pain suddenly overwhelmed his senses. He tumbled backward to the mattress again, stunned by how intense the sensation was. When the pain finally reached a point of equilibrium, Lucian let out a sharp breath and pulled up his shirt to see the cause.
There, he saw four inches of black stitches embedded into his skin, holding a giant incision together on the right side of his lower abdomen, right beneath his ribcage. His eyes widened in pure horror.
“K-Kai…” he gasped, his voice terribly shaky and uneven. “Kai, come here!”
“What’s wrong, Bunny?”
There he was. Lucian flinched from the sound of his voice coming from behind, hurriedly turning to see him. As he suspected, Kai stood by the window with a pleasant smile on his face.
Tears built up in the corners of Lucian’s eyes as he gently grabbed at his wound, trembling in utter pain, fear, and confusion. Kai tilted his head a little while evaluating the sight, gradually approaching him.
“Something happened…I-I don’t know what happened, but something happened!” His voice was embarrassingly shaky as he tried to put together a coherent sentence, nervous that Kai may freak out.
Kai’s touch eased a lot of the pain. Maybe it was the adrenaline. Either way, Lucian gazed into his eyes with a terrified expression, desperately trying to remain strong. With Kai’s warm hands grasping his shoulders, he felt a little more grounded into reality.
“It’s okay, honey. Just relax.”
“I-I’m hurt, it hurts, I-I don’t know where it came from, I—!”
Enough pressure built up from Kai’s grasp that it resulted in Lucian fumbling back onto the mattress. The fall was gentle as he was put into a sitting position, his legs dangling off the side of the bed. His eyes were wide with terror, gazing up at Kai. Kai released his shoulders to caress his face.
“I hate it whenever you cry.”
“Kai, I-I’m scared…” Lucian lowered his head shamefully, still grabbing at the mysterious wound. His voice was painfully embedded with tears. “It’s really bad…it’s so bad, there’s blood ev-everywhere, it’s everywhere…”
“Hey. Look at me.”
Lucian raised his head again. Kai moved the hair from his face with that same dreamy smile.
“It’s okay.” His voice was gentler now, his expression unwavering. “You’re alright. I have you. I already made sure everything was okay.”
“Y-You did…?”
“Mhm. Take a deep breath, okay?”
He was right. Lucian allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he focused on his breathing, removing his hand from the wound. Kai then pulled up the shirt himself, his eyes scanning over the neat stitching.
“How bad is it? Please tell me…”
“Not bad at all.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Now lay down, okay?”
“N-No, it’s gonna hurt…”
“I’ll help you.”
One of Kai’s hands met Lucian’s back and the other rested on his stomach as he helped him lay back down. Pain shot through the entirety of his tummy, but eased out as his head met the soft surface. He hiccupped on his tears and held Kai’s hand instinctively.
“There we go. Here, let’s get your feet up there too, okay? So you’re all nice and warm again.”
“Kai—!”
Before he could finish his sentence, Kai hoisted him back into his original position on the bed. He watched as he grabbed all the bloodied blankets, humming a little while taking in the sight. Tears continued to roll down his face.
“I’ll make it all better. Just wait here for me.”
Lucian shook his head in protest, unable to find the words to express his emotions. Kai, again, caressed his face with a gentle sigh.
“Only for a minute.”
“Please tell me what’s going on. I’ll feel better if you just tell me…”
Kai kissed his forehead before scurrying off to find whatever it was he thought would make the situation any better. Lucian winced as he lowered his fingertips back onto the wound, trying to feel it out and how bad it was. The stitches were evidently done by some sort of professional — there wasn’t a chance Kai had mustered up the talent to perform a surgical move like that.
With yet another shaky breath, Lucian swallowed hard and tried to regain his cool. It seemed like everything was going to be fine with Kai being completely aware of the situation and seemingly okay with it. After all, Kai would’ve reacted very differently if he thought Lucian was in any sort of danger. That’s why, when he returned, Lucian was sure to have his composure back by then.
Upon seeing Kai struggling with balancing various items tucked in his arms, Lucian smiled warmly and laughed a little. That seemed to bring a sense of relief to Kai, seeing as he smiled right back at him with easing shoulders.
“It feels like we’re playing doctor again.”
Kai set out all of the things he thought would help Lucian through his troubles, including a pair of fresh pajamas, water, and a stuffed animal. “You liked playing that game, huh?”
“Mhm. I liked it better when you were the patient, though…”
Humming softly, Kai continued to organize the belongings. “You were a good doctor, Lulu.”
“You were too.” Lucian’s eyes followed Kai’s hand movements, trying to capture everything that was going on. “Are you gonna tell me about my sickness now? And everything that happened to me?”
“Haha, that was the fun part, huh? Making up stories about what happened…” Kai purred, pulling out an unfamiliar pill bottle.
Lucian shuddered. “Please don’t make it up this time…I wanna know what actually happened.”
Nodding firmly, Kai’s eyes finally met his. “That’s fair. Here, I’ll start from the beginning…”
Crawling onto the bed, Kai hovered over him. Even in his current state, Lucian became antsy upon seeing it, blushing heavily. He loved it whenever Kai’s hair swept over his face like that.
“There’s a really pretty boy I love. His name is Lucian,” he hummed softly, resting himself onto Lucian’s hips. The weight of his body didn’t bother him at all, despite being close to his wound — he purposely scaled it out to ensure there wasn’t any pressure on Lucian's tummy. “He has the prettiest eyes you’ll ever see. They’re so pretty that…I kind of wanna rip ‘em out just to see them closer.”
Lucian giggled. Kai continued.
“When I kiss him, I feel like I’m floating. But…I always feel like I wanna be closer. Like I want to be inside of him with all his cute organs and guts. That’s where I’ve always wanted to be. But…it’s hard to think of a way I could be there forever.”
Kai’s hand rode up his shirt. Lucian didn’t stop him, watching as he pushed it so far up that it got bunched beneath his chin. The entirety of his chest and tummy were exposed all for Kai’s liking, his eyes sweeping over it to catch what felt like every detail. Lucian’s shallow breaths were easier to see now that he was uncovered like this.
“But Lucian’s a very special boy, so I kept on thinking of a way I could make it happen. And, of course, I’d finally think of it right before Christmas! I knew it would be the perfect present, so I planned everything out the best I could.”
Kai’s fingertips traced against the stitches. Lucian shivered from the sensation, preparing to feel pain but being delighted to feel nothing but butterflies in his stomach.
“I went and got sleeping medicine from Thomas first. Then, I put my pretty Bunny to sleep. And after he was sound asleep and ready, I went and found a doctor who could help me. He was a good doctor, but a very bad man. I invited him over to have sex with me! And when he came over, bam! I threatened to leak all the messages and kill his entire family if he didn’t help me out!”
Kai dug his knees into the mattress as he sat back up, leaning forward to have his face inches away from Lucian’s. Telling by how red it was, Lucian clearly liked it.
Kai rubbed his lips against Lucian’s ear. “You wanna know what he did for me, Lu?”
“…Yeah,” Lucian’s voice was airless, his body practically trembling from excitement he tried to resist.
With a hoarse giggle, Kai backed away to look him in the eyes again. Their gaze was palpable.
“I made him take out your kidney and put mine in instead. That way, I’ll always be there with you…and you’ll always be with me.”
Lucian stared at him longingly, rendered speechless by his explanation. For a good while, he thought he was joking, that there was no possible way that he had really done something like that. But seeing the look of pure adoration decorated in his irises, he knew that was far from the truth.
“I made sure he was gentle with you. When he tore you open, he let me see inside, too. Lucian, it was wonderful. You have the prettiest organs I’ve ever seen in my whole life. And then, I watched him put me inside of you…I watched it go inside…”
Those words were lingering in Lucian’s head longer than they probably should’ve as he bit his lip, becoming more and more restless under his grasp.
“It hurt, but I didn’t care. I made him keep me awake so I could see how he was handling you…and because I wanted to see inside you, too.”
“…You didn’t really do that, right? You’re just playing around, right?” Lucian trembled a little as he asked, eager to hear the answer.
Kai cheekily hummed. “It was the prettiest kidney I’ve ever seen, Lulu. No, the prettiest organ I’ve ever seen. He cut you open and took it out and let me see it real good before he put it in. Oh, baby, it was beautiful.”
What seemed to be terror decorated in Lucian’s eyes melted into pure adoration as he slowly batted his eyelashes, silently inviting him into his loving embrace. Kai took it upon himself to interlock their lips. In a matter of seconds, Lucian grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him down to rest on top of him, clutching at the fabric as though it was the last day on Earth. Kai reciprocated the passion by allowing his hands to run down his body, calculating every inch of skin he still needed to visit — from his throat all the way to his waist.
With heaving breaths and his eyes fluttering open just enough to take in Kai’s longing gaze, Lucian wrapped his arms around his shoulders to pull him indefinitely closer. “I shouldn’t…get like this.”
“Get like what?”
Lucian allowed himself to sink further into the pillows, examining every detail of Kai’s face. “Y’know, all…excited.”
It took Kai a while to register what he meant. But when he finally did, his cheeks looked as though they were engulfed in flames. Kai grazed his knuckles against Lucian’s cheekbones and leaned close in kissing range. There was no climax.
“I like it.”
“What?”
“I like it when I make you excited,” Kai confessed sheepishly. “It makes you taste better.”
Their lips connected for a moment before Lucian hurriedly cut it off. “A-Are you excited too…?”
Grabbing either side of his face, Kai nodded with a dreamy glint in his eyes. Their mouths entwined again, only this time more passionately as Lucian’s fingers found their way through every individual curl of his boyfriend’s hair. He tasted better than ever.
Lucian’s breaths sharpened in delight whenever he felt the warmth of Kai’s saliva intermixing with his own. It was evident by his kisses that Kai was stuck in an endless loop of desperation — even more so once he began rocking and shifting on Lucian’s hips, struggling to control himself. It was cute knowing Kai didn’t understand his own body language, but even cuter whenever he imagined what must be going through his pretty head.
As they pulled away to take a quick breathing break, Kai couldn’t help but nudge his fingertips against Lucian’s stitches ever so slightly. A sharp breath of delight escaped Lucian’s lips as he reeled his head back, exposing his neck’s sensitive skin that Kai loved to abuse. Almost instinctively, he trailed his tongue from his sternum all the way to the bottom of his chin.
“K-Kai…”
His shaky voice worried him. “You okay?”
With shallow breaths, Lucian swallowed hard. “You can touch me…however you want.”
Kai kissed right beneath his chin and hummed. “Where’s your favorite spot, Lu?”
It was a question Lucian never considered before. Blinking rapidly in hopes of finding an answer before the silence grew too thick, Lucian allowed himself to let out a nervous laugh. Kai’s expression grew softer.
“I don’t know, I mean…do you have a favorite spot?”
“Of course I do.”
Lucian blushed heavier, his mind wandering through all the possibilities of his preferences. He never really thought about it before, but now he was dying to know.
“Then…just touch me there, then.”
“Haha! You make it sound weird.”
“W-Well, I just…I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Just being with you makes me happy,” Kai purred, his hands slowly but surely lowering past his waist. “But I can keep going, if you want.”
Lucian’s heart rate spiked upon feeling Kai’s fingers run against his boxers — but it slowed once the sensation ran beneath the fabric and onto his thighs, littered with one or two love bites. (Which was funny considering everywhere else on his body had at least five.)
“I love your thighs a lot. They’re always so warm and nice to put my head on,” Kai explained with an adoring glint in his eyes. “And when I love on you, they bleed a whole lot more and taste really good.”
Before Lucian could respond, he continued.
“But my super duper favorite part is your tummy,” Kai hummed. It was apparent by his dazed eyes that he was in a whole other world, daydreaming about all the times he shared with Lucian, leaving love bites all over. “It’s so cute. I like imagining all your sweet organs lined up inside.”
And with that, Kai’s hands remained in the areas Lucian liked to be touched in — his tummy, his waist, his chest, his shoulders, never anywhere that would make him nervous. That respect alone turned Lucian on more.
“I think that’s my favorite spot, too…”
“Really?”
“Mhm! But…I think I like it when you touch me anywhere, Kitty. Anywhere…”
“…You sound sort of sad, Bunny.”
“Haha, I’m not!” Lucian gushed, cradling Kai’s head close to his neck. “I just…I love you so much…I can’t live without you…”
Tears rolled down his cheeks once the reality of the situation finally began to settle into his mind fully, knowing that a piece of Kai was always going to be in him — knowing they’d never be apart again. His fingernails accidentally dug into Kai’s scalp from the overwhelming amount of adoration he had swirling inside, desperate for a release. (Not that Kai minded it.)
“I wanna be with you forever…”
Kai’s gaze met him from between the bridge of his freckled nose. “Forever, Lulu.”
Their lips met. It was so teeth-rottingly sweet that Lucian spiraled into the delusion that it was some sort of fantastical dream. He shuddered once he realized just how real it was — just how real every gentle and lingering touch was. He was captivated by the moment. Maybe that’s why his eyes took a while to flutter back open, even when Kai backed away to bury his face deep into the crook of his neck again.
Lucian’s fingertips grazed over Kai’s fresh wound, searching for the words to describe his emotional state. His lips parted as though he wanted to speak, but the sound hesitated to leave his voice box.
“I’m right there…?”
Kai placed his hand over top of Lucian’s. “Yep. You’re right there.”
Kai smiled. Lucian smiled too.
“We’re gonna have the cutest matching scars now!” Lucian bubbled, wiggling around excitedly. His burst of energy took Kai aback. “‘Hey, how’d you get that scar?’ ‘My boyfriend and I had a kidney transplant!’ That’s, like, the cutest thing ever!”
“Haha, yeah…” Kai hummed. It was evident from his face that he couldn’t care less about what Lucian was actually saying, simply taking in all his beauty. Snapping out of his daze, Kai sat up a little. “You think we can read each other’s minds now that we share an organ?” Kai pondered out loud, his eyes aglow from the mere thought of it.
Lucian giggled, pulling him into his lap. Kai wrapped his legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, inching close to his face.
“Let’s see. Put your forehead against mine.”
Kai obeyed his orders and pressed their foreheads together, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. Lucian hummed and let his hands run up his back.
“Okay. On the count of three. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“One…two…”
And in unison, they spoke — “I love you!”
Laughter filled the air as they both playfully shoved each other, pleasantly surprised by the results. Kai fell onto his back and took Lucian with him, locking his legs tightly around his waist. Neither of them minded how close the other was, or really the position they were in, kissing and tickling each other nonstop.
“Ow! Stop! Stop!” Kai cried, flailing his arms about and attempting to squirm from Lucian’s tickle attack.
“You stole my kidney! It’s only fair!”
“No! No! Ow! Stoppp!!”
Lucian hesitated with his next move, trying to read Kai’s face to find any indications of him truly being in pain. But the moment he realized he was being played, it was all too late. Kai sprang up and gave him a nice big bite on his collarbone. Blood spilled from the gash, furthering the stain on Lucian’s shirt and in between Kai’s teeth.
Kai laughed hysterically. Lucian scoffed with a playful smile.
“You little—…”
“Aww, I was just playinggg…” Kai purred, finally managing to sit up and create enough distance between him to ensure his safety. “Get me back!”
Lucian squinted his eyes suspiciously. “My tummy hurts. I’m not chasing you.”
“Get me baaack…”
“Kitty—!”
“Guess I win!”
That set it off. Lucian scoffed and grabbed Kai’s shirt in a millisecond, yanking him close enough for him to have a taste. Blush protruded on Kai’s cheeks with wide eyes, but his sly smile remained unwavered.
“You wanna take that back?”
“Mmh…nope!”
“Okay.”
And in that same moment, Kai was pinned against the bed’s headboard, completely at Lucian’s mercy. He laughed and laughed, squirming as much as he could despite his aching wound begging him to stop — despite Lucian’s eager eyes burning into him.
“Luluuu, you’re so mean to meee…” Kai whined playfully, sliding his tongue against his blood-stained teeth with a soft giggle. “Are you gonna get me back?”
His teeth sunk deep into the side of Kai’s neck. Kai let out a squeal of joy despite how brutal the bite was. Blood vigorously poured out from the wound as Lucian loosened his jaw’s pressure, smearing all over his mouth, chin, and throat. Any other guy probably would’ve had tears building up in the corner of his eyes just because of how hard the bite was, but Kai remained completely unphased. As usual.
“Bunny,” Kai purred, taking Lucian’s chin into his hand and squeezing his cheeks tightly. “Don’t just use your…um…sharp teeth.”
“Canine?”
“Yeah! Don’t just use your canine teeth, you gotta use them all. That’s why it’s not going as deep as mine.”
Lucian huffed. Kai released him and pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal more space dedicated to Lucian’s love bites.
“Here, try again,” he purred.
“No. You’re gonna laugh at me.”
“Nuh-uh!”
“You just did!”
“Baby, I only laugh ‘cause you’re cute…”
Rolling his eyes, Lucian pinned him against the headboard again. Kai watched him eagerly, lowering his head just enough for his gaze to be leveled with the bridge of his nose. He looked the prettiest when he made that face.
“I’m not trying to be cute. I’m trying to be scary,” Lucian reminded him.
“Right. Scary. Okay. Scary.”
“You’re trying to convince yourself…”
“No! It’s scary! I’m scared! Aaah!”
“Kai! Quit that!”
With a sly laugh, Kai repositioned himself against the headboard. Then, in the blink of an eye, the look of fear flashed across his face. Lucian was both amazed and weirded out by how easily Kai could manipulate his expressions to make them appear so genuine, but tried his hardest to play into it.
“Please don’t hurt me…”
Lucian hated and loved that voice at the same time. With blush covering the entirety of his face, he shook his head. His hands were still wrapped around Kai’s wrists, pinned above his head.
“…I like it better when you tease me.”
And in a split second, Kai’s original smug grin returned. “You’re too sweet, Lulu.”
Lucian’s mouth opened. Kai’s eyes lingered on every individual tooth in his mouth before he leaned into the crook of his neck, piercing his skin slowly. It hurt worse. Kai smiled when feeling the pressure becoming stronger, simply from the advice he’d given him before.
“Owww…” Kai whined, wiping the grin off his face to please his boyfriend. “Good job, Lulu. That one was real nice.”
With his lips still grazing his skin, Lucian released his wrists and hummed out a response. “You mean it?”
The lack of restraint on his wrists allowed Kai to warmly embrace him, pressing their chests against each other and lazily resting his head on his shoulder. “Mhm. Gimmie another…”
“You wish.” Lucian squeezed him tight, burying his face in Kai’s curls. “I’m sleepy, baby…”
“Wanna take a nap?”
“…You’re up for that?”
Kai grumbled a little. “Well, you’re not the only one who got stitches, y’know…”
“I guess that’s true,” Lucian hummed. “I need to get changed first, though.”
“Nooo! I like how you are now.”
“With blood all over me?”
“Mhm!”
“You’re so silly. Lemme get some pants on, at least.”
Kai squeezed him more to ensure there would be no escape route. “Nooo…”
“Kaiii…”
It was too easy to give in. Sighing defeatedly, he let Kai pull him underneath the covers again, cuddling against his chest like a big teddy bear.
“…Thank you, Kitty. This is the best gift ever.”
#for you vie 🫶#< sorry to anyone else who stumbles on this#canon 2 me btw :3#lukai 🖤🤍#oc: lucian williams#friend’s oc: kai miller#101’s wpw#note that no one cares abt: this isn’t super realistic and accurate#< BUT IT WORKS!#<< lu n kai have compatible blood types so we’re good guys swear
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huh? guar— whuh???
↓↓ up close guardian spook below ↓↓
#AH!!#that was great#never do it again#i became an old withered pile of bones seeing these kids as guardians#don’t get me wrong - it was pretty cool#and essentially accurate#but it still enacted psychic damage#ik the vid is technically out of page sequence (we see this image before vrissy or the mayor fountain) but i took artistic liberties yahoo#and yeah that blob guy is me btw :3#if you even care ^_^#homestuck upd8#upd8#homestuck beyond canon#hs:bc#hurly art#homestuck^2#homestuck#homestuck update#hs^2 update#homestuck fanart#hsbc#hs#hsbc upd8#roxy lalonde#homestuck roxy#john egbert#homestuck john#harry anderson egbert#vrissy maryam lalonde
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some more Luz and hunter shitpost doodles done during class <3 i am so behind on my assignments pray 4 me
#they're everything 2 me....#once again drawn on krita#very fun program so far although I should probably stop using it to procrastinate#i just fucking hate adobe (what we're using for this assignment) i hate it so much kill meeeeeeeeeee#idk. I'm so fucking tired now I'm just saying shit#im still a post canon short hair hunter truther btw i am ignoring his epilogue#lilac art#luz noceda#hunter toh#image id included#image id in alt text#HEY I MADE THIS LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO AND FORGOT TO POST IT HERE YOU GO#i drdw this in like October man... I thought I posted it......#I am still so behind on assignments tho so nothing has changed <3#lilac doodle
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"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!
The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.
And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.
Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.


^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.
All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.
But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.
And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.
And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.



Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"
He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for
And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room
Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait
There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol
Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic
Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst
Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.
He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!
He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.
Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay
Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-
Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy
Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw
To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀
And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)
So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees
……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu



So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……
#Someone did ask (on discord) btw i’m not just being a smartass though I do love being that too#This is stuff I cover in my upcoming marcille & chil arc analysis except here I can go full romo and don’t keep the strictly platonic angle#It’s at like 15k words rn I think. The 30 pics limit is killing me which is why I started asking my friend to do collages of panels for me#Sob#I keep alternating between it and the Falin analysis save me. Should be dropping soon idk i might test out having a beta reader for that on#Marchil foreplay is 2 years of being coworkers and slowly worming personal questions out of him until he blinks and she has#a key to his house#Dungeon meshi#marchil#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#like they’re so so funny look at this shit. Nonconsensual romanticizing of you as a person. Obsessive interest in your personal life#She’s latched so hard onto the “mystery” of him they’re deranged#MAYBE ITS ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE ITS ALL SWEET INBETWEENS <3#maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together. something for just us#Fumi rambles#Maaan Marcille’s ‘idealizing him into liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty’ arc’#and Chilchuck’s ‘prejudice against elves and mages and optimism into respect and trust’ arc are everything to me#Meta#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Tagged this so late oops#It’s so funny. She’s canonically wondered how Chil would be like as a lover#No no but like do u see. Fantasy is a key part of her chrcter and arc and he’s the foil to that he’s the thing that comes challenge it
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howdy Dirk Nation how are we feeling about splinter parallels
#homestuck#dirk strider#Bro Strider#ult dirk#ultimate dirk#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#epic galleria#i dont like adding so many technical tags but if i dont organize myself i'll fucking explode and die and go Ult#one might call this yassifying. i simple call it having a Big Brain and Seeing the Truth#that comment screenshot is from an upload of Beatup btw. mf has like 3 fucking theme songs. lets beat him up#i was forced to draw fuckin hands. worst moment in my life. this was my own form of torture#you can see where i started to give up and go Fuck it We ball. tf is this bastard hunk wearing#what it is wrong with him. it is so attractive#i want him so bad i feel sick. i think i hauve covid. joder que bueno está el condenao me lo cargo a besos dame una noche con él#hey why dont you fuck with My narrative handsome. leans against wall with a rose on my mouth#i dont even read h:bc btw but the slay energy that panel had provoked some energy inside me in me to activate
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Ok ok ok I’m gonna try and behave with the other zine submissions (small screenshots at most), but!!
I am sorta really falling in love with the oc x canon one.
So you get just this one fully, since we’re allowed to put them
Drawing people kiss is hard…
#Can I keep Lev consistent? no. But fr I’m struggling with a new design#so thats why Lev dosen’t look the same lately#I can’t do the thing in my head with them#also#augh I hope I can fully render the last 2 in time#if not I do have old art to give too#but mmm I would be sad. But AUGH the lack of time😭#november was one hell of a month for me#For newcomers Lev uses she/he/they/it btw :3#astor#dragon’s art tag#Leviathan(sona)#astor age of calamity#astorvember#age of calamity#oc x canon#self ship#f/o#yiga!lev
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666 days of lovin' the big fat red guy !!!
#it's almost been 2 years 🥰🥰#btw i freaking hate (love) these two omg#making me stay up late even though it's my own decision 😾#btw he loves doing silly poses with his partner and dressing all in his getup for them <3#guhbgh no one probably reads or cares about my ramblings in the tags but whatevs 😔#teehee :3#spooky month#bob velseb#spooky month fanart#self insert x canon#self ship#my art
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I'm gonna bully Lif again
I'll admit, some of these answers don't cover all the bases, but. What are we thinking, here. What is The Truth behind The Twink Death? 🤨🎤
I will also be accepting write-in responses as usual 🫡
#fire emblem#feh#fe lif#fe alfonse#one answer i refuse to put on here just bc of how badly i think it would squeue results:#has exclusive access to bruno's workout routine#BUT I FEEL LIKE. IF I PUT THAT AS AN OPTION. EVERYONE WOULD PICK IT. I WOULD PICK IT IN A HEARTBEAT#some of my own notes: changing up the body modification option to be more vague#BUT. some thoughts were 'via surgery/magic' and specifying he sought it out himself#i just simplified it to look better on the poll. but the IDEA here. ESPP in the same vein as the insoles#i cannot remember where. but i feel like it's canon that alfonse has a degree of body dysmorphia?#or at very least has some insecurity about it. not being as tall as gustav/bruno (sir. you are allegedly 5'11.)#and not being as muscular as them either. i swear to god i'm not just making this up. it has to exist in SOME obscure line somewhere#or i just hallucinated that. but then again i found out one of my long-standing hcs actually had a basis IN canon#i just. forgor. so. anything is possible 💪💪💪 (this one was about alfonse/sharena/bruno being childhood friends)#badly wanted to make another undead joke but now i'm paranoid that i'm spreading misinfo#like i think The Lore is that lif and theasir were sole survivors. technically not rezzed. but like.... gah#i do gotta finish my book 3 replay. i promise i will. i'm SO close (has to do book 2 quotes first)#still the embalming accident option no elaboration is just too funny to me. cannot pass it up#ALSO. ALSO. the veggies/milk option. is mostly a joke but goes back to my hcs about#alfonse being scrawny as a kid up until he joins the order. actually starts to fill out more#when he feels inexplicably more secure. also sharena helping any way she can.#LIKE. ALL OF THESE ARE SILLY. but a lot of them have internal lore reasons. varying degrees of actual canonness#i also want each option to be compelling in some way. like what does this say about him#or what happened to him. just. in general.#THERE'S. KINDA NO GREATER PURPOSE TO THIS BTW. kinda.#it's just that whenever i think anything even vaguely related to book 3 i get the UNFATHOMABLY PROFOUND URGE#to stick a kick me note on lif's back and wait.#it's either that or just blackout horny. no in between. also the grief. i need to kill him again.
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their dynamic to a t
#this is literally canon#eliza may be zed's best friend but she can't stand his ass and i love that for her#also i'm not usually one to complain about having to do work no one asked me to do#but right now i must!#i had to break out my stylus to move the text and images cause they were so tiny#and i don't even think i moved them correctly even after all that#this was the most painful meme-creating experience i have ever had#but anyway disregard this mini rant#(i do not ship eliza and addison btw)#disney zombies#zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zed necrodopolis#addison wells#eliza zambi
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Playing a game I’ve beat (twice) again because I love this loser

#watchdogs 2 FREE ME#he’s such a fucking loser#and canonically bisexual#I’m the dlc of watchdogs 3(?) he married and divorced a man#very messy divorce#love that for him#him and his goddamn robot son have captivated me#100% in love with Markus btw and honestly me too#watchdogs 2
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You have no idea how surprised I was to see you in Alabaster tag. I guess I'm just used to see you with meta (which are always a delight to read btw)
What are your opinions about Nico/Al and Percy/Al
Do not let my meta fool you I am a rogue demigods fan first and person second. I love Alabaster. I do not interact enough with the rogue demigods/Titan Army side of the fandom for the amount of thoughts I have about them 😔
As for Alabaster ships - I have heard much about Nico/Alabaster and I think it's very fun and cute. In my Nico Ship Survey it by far swept for most popular Nico/Minor Character ship. I generally think Nico/Minor Character ships tend to be very fun and interesting, I love the minor characters, I love the rogues, and throwing Nico with another rogue and/or another chthonic demigod is always very [chef's kiss] for me.
As for Percy/Al, well. I did fully intentionally make my Alabaster design mirror my Percy design.
(My main reason for doing so was cause I thought it'd be funny for Al to hate Percy and then to learn that Percy also has a streak in his hair in the exact same spot and get SO pissed that Percy not only ruined his life but is also stealing his brand.)
But yeah I think it's very interesting! I love Percy getting to interact with demigods outside of the camps and I am always down for more rogue and/or Alabaster content. And again, nudge the chthonic demigods together, hell yes. No pun intended.
I just think Alabaster is neat. Let him do whatever he wants forever.
#pjo#riordanverse#percy jackson#nico di angelo#alabaster torrington#Anonymous#ask#my art#Percy is a chthonic demigod on technicality. part-time chthonic. maybe.#depends on version of his dad but for sake of fun rogue demigod dynamics he counts for these purposes#and thank you for the lovely compliments to my meta btw ^v^#but yes please talk to me about rogue demigods i love them so much...#i have so many thoughts and ocs and hcs about rogues#we have like NEXT TO NOTHING in canon about them! even though 2 of the known big 3 kids are technically rogues!#maybe 3 if you count Cassius being a potential one and 4 if you count Meg as a Big 3+ Kid#but yeah i am not the world's most shippy person BUT i am always here for rogue content
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I officially introduce to Tumblr nation
My favorite humanoid animal/furry oc
Pamsly Poodle
More design mentions
He just leaves his chest fur to stick out of his shirt, he doesn't give a fuck tbh
Usually has a smug expression
His teeth get a bit sharp when he's angry
His design is inspired by Percy poodle from Playtime with Percy BTWW!! :3
He's the sillyyy
MAIN CLOSEUPZ
(TO CLARIFY, I ONLY HAVE LIKE 4 FURRY OCS, PAMSLY, HIS BROTHER HUSK, AND TWO OTHERS I HAVEN'T MADE YET IN GACHA YET, DONT CALL ME A FURRY 👿)
#multifandom account#multifandom#multi fandom blog#multifandom blog#gacha life 2#gacha oc#art#ocs#askblogs#Oc#Pamsly#Pamsly Poodle#Pamsly The Poodle#Pampam#Pamsly(Hazysayonoria)#Hazy Sayonoria#Cy's ocs#Noria's ocs#Reference sheet#Furry#Furry oc#Trust me once I learn how to model 3D things yall are gonna met with the REAL pamsly :3#I swear guys Pamsly has a semi-big chest like the ones you see in some art pieces on Pinterest believe meee#ONCE AGAIN I MENTION THAT HIS DESIGN (AND DESIGN ONLY) IS INSPIRED BY PERCY POODLE FROM PLAYTIME WITH PERCY!!!#playtime with Percy#Percy poodle#i wanna add more tags and idk what#Gacha nebula is the mod I used btw :3#Expect a remake somewhere in March probably when gacha nebula gets the 1.6 update since it has chest fur and face fur and paws#Chest fur is basically a main ascept in pamsly's design (the OG au/Canon design and Expriement AU design to be specific)
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chapters 51 and 58 of bloodmarked are absolutely CARRYING bree/nick/selwyn polyamory truthers
#selwyn is kind of a stupid name I realized as I was typing this. like I've gotten used to it over 2 books but it's so silly. selwyn#anyway. me disappearing for days and only showing up for like 30 minutes to reblog 3 things#and make a nigh incomprehensible post letting you guys know what book I'm reading now (read. I finished it yesterday actually.#now I'm rereading legendborn bc I'm apparently not ready to move on to a new book and also I forgot most of the shit from that book)#anyway I've been on the polyamory train for these 3 since I read legendborn in 2020 but I swear it's only gotten stronger#like what do you MEAN selwyn (magically oathed to protect nick) FEELS SAFER with nick around#THE SAME WAY BREE DOES. AND BOTH SELWYN AND NICK LIKE. AGREE ON HOW MUCH THEY LOVE BREE. AND THERE'S NO WEIRD JEALOUSY ABOUT IT#AND SELWYN CANONICALLY WAS AT ONE POINT IN LOVE WITH NICK????#AND NICK LITERALLY SAYS TO SEL “I CAN'T LOSE YOU AND I WON'T LOSE HER”????#LIKE?????#THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS YOUR STANDARD ASS LOVE TRIANGLE IT'S GOTTA BE AT LEAST A LITTLE POLYAMORUS#IF NOT A FULL TRIANGLE BREE SHOULD AT *LEAST* GET 2 BOYFRIENDS. SHE DESERVES IT#even if it does end up a standard love triangle though this is honestly a genuinely good one#like I genuinely like both love interests neither of them are weird or annoying or creepy about her#anyway. need book 3 out as soon as possible I swear to god I almost can't see how this ends in monogamy#I'm talking about the legendborn series by tracy deonn btw everyone#another arthurian inspired book series which if you saw my other post the other day I swear this isn't intentional#legendborn#bloodmarked#the legendborn cycle#tracy deonn#bree matthews#nick davis#selwyn kane
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It's MY fnaf fanfiction and I get to choose the OCxcanon!!!!
it's really funny bc thus far they haven't even met, and we are nowhere near this interaction. XD but also i can't resist... and i definitely couldnt help myself lol
#Red Sky AU#fnaf au#oc x canon#fnaf djmm#dj music man#security breach#vivian liang (OC)#im still working on his design tbh#but we have him. he does exist!!!#he'll be in chapter 2. he will be there.#i fully blame wakey for makign me love him so much /pos#i immediately recommended both fics to everyone i know btw. theyre so good. so sweet.#i cried during both fics as well. like full on ugly crying.#<3
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ooc
day 1 of manifesting sonic faller with sonadow shipping mod
btw I head canon sonadow as queer platonic-romantic is ok n if anything preferred though!! whatevs!!!!! they r dating 2 me :3
#sonadow#pokemon irl#shadow the hedgehog#someone pls#btw I head canon sonadow as queer platonic-romantic is ok though!! whatevs!!!!! they r dating 2 me :3
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I agree with you about Capcom bringing Nash back for SF6! I even made a post in my Threads account about him if Bison comes back, then there is a chance he might return! Please Capcom! Bring my boy back in the series! You been neglecting him for far too long!
I could go on about how I think they could bring Nash back in SF6 for AGES. The sheer fact that F.A.N.G. lived and is in SF6 (Fang Fei/Foo, A.K.I.'s master) makes me think that Nash probably survived his bout with Bison in some degree and could come back but there's so many ways they can go about it they could make it really insane if they wanted to.
They could have the Secret Society/Illuminati revive him again to use as an agent to gain ground against Shadaloo and potentially leverage Gill/the Society into higher threat standing (villain).
They could tie Darkstalkers semi-into Street Fighter and say that the Nash we would see is him after escaping the Makai and give him some more wacky magic-like powers (and give Darkstalkers fans like myself some more crumbs to survive on for a while lol).
They could lean into the Nash/Shadow setup from Marvel vs. Capcom and say that Shadaloo had/has him and the Nash we get to see is totally brainwashed into servitude by Bison or has escaped his brainwashing but like Cammy has no memories of his past. Or hell, just bring 'Shadow' back and it's just Nash but under a different name with different goals in mind!
But those are just my ideas after all.
Capcom needs to give us Nash STAT. I need to see my boy again!
(Also as an aside I love your art <3 )
#I'd love to know more about your ideas on how Nash could return ladydbzelle btw! <3#the disappointment speaks#not me going off on a tangent about ideas for how capcom can put nash in a game lol.#give! me! more! of! my! boy!#we cannot just have nash appear in like 2 canonical stories (sfa3's ending for him being non canon) and in both he fucking dies like come o#like bosht is dead in canon we see him die and he dead fr after the explosion because he's crispy#its heavily implied that akuma finally killed gen in sf5 too but its not explicitly stated its very clear he should be dead#nash? there was a big energy explosion and his dog tags he wasnt wearing fell to the ground#we see no corpse... unless we include 'living' nash as a corpse haha lol undead guy joke#so by technicality and the fact that nash said his body was deteriorating which I think is kind of strange given bison can revive with ease#like bison's revivals are stunted by his psycho power if I recall correctly. nash has the opposite of that in sf5#if anything by that logic nash should be immortal but instead he's dying rapidly? seems odd#my thought from other game logic is nash is either not nash but rather some 'Eleven' type entity disguised as nash and has no idea#or like a poorly made clone using old dna from nash's body that was deteriorating rapidly due to that fact.#or maybe it was nash but he didn't die completely in the explosion of energy but rather was severely injured and on death's door again#either way our boy aint dead until capcom shows me his corpse#also I want to see how guile would react to see his dead buddy again after he dies for the second time. lets make it a third. come on.#it could be so funny capcom you have no idea.#I went off in the tags lmao I should stop yakking and get to doing other things lmao#I may just be caught up on F.A.N.G. somehow surviving getting his ass beat TWICE in quick succession and falling AND the collapse of Shadal
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